“The Turn of the Tide” by Arthur Gordon

Arthur Gordon tells of a time in his life when he began to feel that everything was stale and flat. His enthusiasm had all but disappeared; his writing efforts were fruitless, and the situation was getting worse day by day.

Finally, he decided to get help from a medical doctor. Observing nothing physically wrong, the doctor asked him if he would be able to follow his instructions for one day. When Gordon replied that he could, the doctor told him to spend the following day in a place where he was the happiest as a child. He could take food, but he was not to talk to anyone or to read or write or listen to the radio. He then wrote out four prescriptions and told him to open one at nine, twelve, three, and six o’clock.

“Are you serious?” Gordon asked him.
“You won’t think I’m joking when you get my bill!” was the reply.

So the next morning, Gordon went to the beach. As he opened the first prescription, he read, “Listen carefully.” He thought the doctor was insane! How could he listen for three hours? Nevertheless, he had agreed to follow the doctor’s order, so he listened. He heard the usual sounds of the sea and the birds. After a while, he could hear the other sounds that weren’t so apparent at first. As he listened, he began to think of lessons the sea had taught him as a child—patience, respect, and an awareness of the interdependence of things. He began to listen to the sounds—and the silence—and to feel a growing peace deep within.

At noon, he opened the second slip of paper and read, “Try reaching back.” “Reaching back to what?” he wondered. Perhaps to childhood, perhaps to memories of joy. He tried to remember them with exactness, and in remembering, he found a growing warmth inside.

At three o’clock, he opened the third piece of paper. Until now, the prescriptions had been easy to take, but this one was different; it said, “Examine your motives.” At first he was defensive. He thought about what he wanted—success, security, recognition—and he justified them all. Yet then the thought occurred to him that those motives weren’t good enough. That perhaps therein was the answer to his stagnant situation. He considered his motives deeply and thought about past happiness, and at last, the answer came to him. In a flash of certainty, he wrote, “I saw that if one’s motives are wrong, nothing can be right. It makes no difference whether you are a mail carrier, a hairdresser, an insurance salesperson, a home-maker—whatever. As long as you feel you are serving others, you do the job well. When you are concerned only with helping yourself, you do it less well—a law as unrelenting as gravity.”

When six o’clock came, the fourth prescription didn’t take long to fill. “Write your worries on the sand,” it said. He knelt and wrote several words with a piece of broken shell; then he turned and walked away. He didn’t look back: he knew the tide would come in!

I certainly think there are a vast number of reasons for the lack of planning – and it’s usually not as simple of just one clear reason:

* The unspoken assumptions meaning that the current generation believe that they have planned – such as thinking their oldest child will automatically take over despite their possible lack of skills and wishes to the contrary

* The lack of understanding and skills from current and next generation to look at succession

* The fear of change and the future

* Poor professional advisors not understanding family businesses and their complexity

* The lack of skills and expertise in the next generation – no one to hand the business to within the family

* Failure to understand the business and marketplace as it is today and it’s needs

* Arrogance

* Failure to face up to the need to look outside of the family perhaps

* The need to control – and the inability to let go

* The founder/current generation’s own entrepreneurial spirit

* Tangled personal relationships and the fear of upsetting relatives – or even wanting to deliberately sabotage relationship

* Disagreement over it being just a lifestyle business to service the immediate family or if it will be a business that should grow, develop and invest

I could go on and on … at ICFIB we see many more reasons than these often with a fair amount of deep rooted anxiety, frustration, bitterness and fear as well.

The reasons are usually complex and involve not understanding the shape of the hole and what pegs are right to fit into that hole. The longer the process is left, the less choices and options areavailable. The best succession planning is when everyone is open and honest and can see clearly without emotion but that’s far easier said than done – having experienced it within my own family’s business and also observed in others. Facilitation can be critical to helping with this but only by people suitably trained and experienced to deal with family businesses. Of course once any planning is in place, it’s amazing how many them then fail to have suitable share agreements etc exist to support it!

I will shortly be taking up a new role that will see me working with family businesses, a subject close to my heart and one that’s in my blood. As excited as I am about what lies ahead, I understand the importance and challenges that will come with such a responsibility.

Every business has it’s hurdles and obstacles of course, but a business that includes working with family has another dimension – the FAMILY DIMENSION.

If you work in your family’s business you will know what that means.

If you have never worked with family you won’t – you couldn’t possibly know what it’s like.

If you are an advisor or supplier to family businesses you won’t really understand it either but you should.

In order for families in business to get the best possible advice and support they need to be surrounded by teams that get the quirkiness and complexities of this F-DIMENSION.

I know the good, the bad and the ugly of working with my family – as does my husband who also worked with family for a while.

Here’s an just one quick story from my time as CEO of Savekers Limited and working with advisors… I had to choose a solicitor to help me carry out an MBO back in 2002. I was young and didn’t really understand the mechanics so I visited three Birmingham law firms in turn.

With each of them I presented the same vision and aims and also told them of the issues involved with the family holding shares. All three firms could demonstrate their professionalism and expertise, all were impressive – they clearly would know how to get the deal done. However, only one of these solicitors showed that more than his professional know how he understood the F-Dimension and what we needed as a family and as a business wanting to move forward.

Guess which one I chose! Not only did Richard become the solicitor that helped me complete the MBO but he also helped me when I went on to acquire several businesses and restructure the Board.

While there is no doubt in my mind that any solicitor or accountant that can genuinely show they know how to work with all the issues of a family business has a competitive advantage, it is just as important that the bank, wealth management team, PR and marketing consultants, web/IT team, the HR consultants and H & S advisors also have a solid understanding of the issues for a family business to get the support they need to succeed. Surely it’s a win/win situation then!

Happy New Year to all those fabulous family businesses out there and those that are committed to providing outstanding support and expertise to them to.

If you are interested in knowing more about my forthcoming role or would like to share your family business story, would like help within your own family business or would like to know how to develop your organisation to better support family businesses please drop me an email

I thought that as December is well and truly upon us and many of us are planning 2012 I would share my answer with you:

2011 has been as I expected it to be; a dash of positive, a good helping of tough trading, a measure of squeezed margins, a dollop or two of failing businesses all topped with a dose of opportunity and mixed with much uncertainty. I think the recipe for 2012 will be similar and I’m especially looking forward to sampling the opportunities!

I look to the New Year with much excitement and a belief that the new venture I’ll be involved with will not only bring me immense pleasure and satisfaction but will also make a real difference to a lot of people, their families and their businesses.

Back in 2006, our Board were pretty much forced into an interest rate hedging product without any explanation – and certainly nothing to tell us what may happen on termination which became an issue as the company went into administration in 2009.

I held a personal guarantee along with my cousin and we had to fight for two years to have the PG discharged as the bank chose to pursue us incorrectly for a sickening amount of money.

During this time my family and I had the threat of bankruptcy hanging over us and numerous sleepless nights. This was after doing all possible to protect the position of the company’s creditors and limit any impact as our 106 year old business closed –  as a result of the economic situation which was itself brought on by the widely reported mismanagement and irresponsible behavior of the banking sector.

It may be something that we no longer have hanging over us but it left a terrible taste, especially when the letter that came to say the bank would have no further claim against me under the guarantee didn’t even acknowledge or apologise for the way in which they treated us.

Today reminded me that when you look at a new adventure you have to close the chapter on the one before and remember everything it taught you, the people that you’ve met along the way and how valuable even the bad things can be. These chapters and experiences shape who we are and what we will go on to become.

Just as Steve Jobs said in his Commencement Speech in 2005…

“Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life”

Obviously getting married is amazing in itself but every day holds the opportunity of  seeing amazing outcomes, meeting amazing people, holding amazing conversations, sharing stories and achievements.

Since the wedding, our baby girl started infants school and tomorrow sees our middle son begin secondary school. Our eldest boy is now in year 9 with size UK 9  feet – also truly amazing!

Of course there are days of disappointment, sadness and frustration but the story of the bride and groom meeting – and indeed the journey of events that led to them now starting their lives together as Mr & Mrs Hurst –  just reminded me that even bad things can lead to something magical. My husband was honored to be best man for Mr Hurst and in his speech he told the story of how the chap that introduced them came into their lives – after a bout of glandular fever. Had he not had this he wouldn’t have delayed his studies and ended up sharing a house with Mrs Hurst. Whether you believe in luck, destiny, religion or fact – this is their story.

Today they set off for their honeymoon and a life together that I have no doubt will be full of amazing things – but we all hold to the chance to do something amazing even if it’s just to smile at a stranger or hold a door open.

…well I guess it’s flown by due to the fast pace of life and all that’s been thrown at us.

From a personal stance, the last 5 months have included our oldest son making great progress at his secondary school and further developing his passion for literature and English, our middle son has secured a place at a secondary school in September and continues to love books and reading while our little lady never stops amazing us.

Our life would be hectic if this was all that filled our time but we’ve never been a family to simply do ‘hectic’! Our professional lives are also  full of drama, excitement, ambition, determination and responsibility.  As a couple we often pass each other rather like a tag team but it works – not sure how but it does.

During the last few months I also had my personal guarantee finally discharged, which was linked to the family business I placed into administration 2 years ago. This was a burden I had to quietly carry with me  - but was so freeing when lifted.  It allowed me to reflect once again at what had happened and what lessons it taught me.

Along the way I have seen friends come and go – some that stand solidly by your side and others that seem to disappear with haste. Relationships are the basis of everything, and certainly business,  but I feel that I learn more about how fragile they can be as time goes on. Just as you think you have them figured out they change. The reason is simple – we are very basic creatures and ultimately we are all here to protect ourselves and our families. This basic instinct means that our paths cross and we make friends and associates – they serve a purpose for a given time and then often they fizzle out. It can be upsetting but it’s no one’s fault, it’s who we are. Families, timing, locations, work and responsibilities often get in the way but it’s part of life.

Occasionally paths may cross at another point – and that can be pretty amazing. I owe Facebook a great deal for several paths crossing again after a long time.

Some people are more able to juggle their time and effort for others – and some are more inwardly focused but if we can take something positive away from each encounter and relationship it helps us to have empathy and passion for the relationships we will go on to make in the future. I’ve been blessed to know some amazing people in my life and I look forward to those I’m yet to meet.

For my colleagues and business associates I certainly hope that the next 12 months includes success and progress for them – both personally and for their businesses. I  wish them clients that are pleasant to deal with, that will pay on time and appreciate their efforts. I would also wish them suppliers that follow the specification,  that do their best to provide an outstanding service at the best price, help when things don’t go to plan and are also good fun to deal with. For those that face more trying times within their business or career this year, I wish them strength and the ability to know that they will overcome whatever is thrown at them.

For my family and closest friends I wish them the best possible health, the ability to follow their hearts and have good humour. Of course it would be wonderful if they all won the Lottery but I think that health and happiness have far more value. I would also hope that they can share their difficult times and find help when needed as well as share the laughter and happiness with those closest to them. To have unconditional love and support.

For those that have hurt me or my loved ones, let us down intentionally, been mean, untrustworthy or malicious – I go back to what my mother always said “what goes around comes around” – end of.

For everyone else, we all go into the New Year with  our own set of hopes and dreams – but even if these don’t quite work out I send a hope of being able to embrace whatever life throws your way and to know sometimes the horrible stuff in life is just part of the journey to happiness.

To you all… I wish you well and that you move forward during this year, learn much and be a happier and better person than you were during last year.

I assumed that he was referring to how content I am with life and my career, but it turned out to be literal. The interview I gave in April of this year was being repeated on Radio 4 and a mutual friend had heard it and told him to tune in. You can listen to the interview by clicking here

Despite the time that has now passed since I placed Savekers Ltd in administration, back in March 2009, it clearly remains a relevant story to many. The interview covers a very personal journey for myself, my family and those employed and involved with the company – but the story isn’t just ours. Since the broadcast this week, I have been inundated with emails and messages from people that have shared similar situations and stories, people that used to work for Savekers years ago (and remember when I was born!) and others that have simply been moved by my account.

The support  and emotions shown by those that have contacted me since March 2009 are simply overwhelming and mean more to me than I can express. I’m often told that the honesty shown when recalling what happened is refreshing – it’s the only I knew how to deal with it. I continue to hope that the very painful times we went through can at least serve to help others.

I wanted to share a few of the comments I have received:

“…Good luck to you Dani; I have no doubt that your Grandfather and Great Grandfather are looking down on you with enormous pride and big smiles…”

“…Saveker’s was a very special family business and all the staff and workers belonged to that family…As I listened to you speak on the radio I too remembered the big green doors and the stone steps up to the offices. Mr Ron’s at one end and reception at the other. I have such fond memories of those happy days of employment.”

“…But I am so impressed with your website and blog and the way you battled on and dealt with practical and emotional issues with such bravery. I am full of admiration for you and my heart goes out to you”

“…just finished listening to your story on radio 4..I was absolutely transfixed and forbade anyone to talk on my school run! – It was so moving and really felt for the anguish you and many others were going through..a bereavement almost. Looks like you are doing other things, but hoping you can take the positives about the experience, and also keeping in check the weight you must feel concerning all ‘the others’ that had to look for other jobs etc.
- I could almost feel myself the weight of emotions you had to bear in having to let all these ‘friends and family’ go, and see the family tradition changing”

“…the feelings that you talk so clearly about, really reminded me of when I had to put a company into receivership ..for a moment I was transported back to being 28, … I remembered how it felt to let everyone down. Years later I realise that you cant buy that experience…I hope that neither you or I have to face it again…”

“…I truly understand what you went through, pain, raw fear, despair…. but life goes on and you recover stonger..”

“…through all this you are an inspiration to others. to me you are always an inspiration xx”

A very big thank you to all those that have taken the time to share their thoughts and feelings – and given such amazing support. The future is looking extremely happy for us now .